the third day of the month blues

blues pl n

1. a state of depression or melancholy

2. a feeling of depression or deep unhappiness

I recently observed that I am in a state of depression or melancholy every third day of the month. It has happened without fail for three consecutive months, so I’m convinced it’s a thing. Terrible things will happen to you every third day of the month.

Exceptionally, 3rd January 2014 went by smoothly. This affliction started with 3rd February 2014. It was the day I was to have my first mediation session at the Family Courts. I could make or break a person’s day (sort of). I had to actually make submissions (sort of) before a judge. I’m not good at public speaking stuff and needless to say, I was terrified. And sleep deprived. This was also the Monday right after my trip to Penang over the CNY weekend, where I had barely nine hours of sleep over three-and-a-half days. On top of everything else, I was fighting holiday withdrawal symptoms while trying to adequately prepare for the mediation session. Of course, it was no surprise that I was depressed that day. The mediation was fairly successful however (I was deeply grateful that there were no emotional scenes), but I returned to the office to get told off by my boss on another matter. She must either have been in a bad mood that day or simply pissed off at me because she could not stop calling me that day to scold me on several other matters. Obviously, it didn’t help that I was still facing holiday withdrawal symptoms and sleep deprived. Talk about feeling the blues that day. Since too many things had happened to make it a memorable lousy day, I didn’t think the blues had anything to do with the fact that it was the 3rd of the month.

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we’ve had pretty sky days recently

Before I knew it, February was over and I was overwhelmed with work on 3rd March 2014 (thanks to irritating clients who instruct us at the last minute), managed to piss of my boss (again, I’m really good at this apparently) and naturally, I was depressed. Melancholic. In a state of deep unhappiness. Surprisingly, I was perfectly fine the next morning. Perhaps all my whining (to whoever I could get hold off) helped. Or maybe it was because the sun had set and rose in the east again and the date on the calendar changed from the 3rd to the 4th. Whatever it was, I was flooded with work (to be fair, everyone was flooded with work, and there isn’t a public holiday in March. We officially hate March) but despite all of that, I was happy that month.

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shophouses and skyscrapers

I thought I was (finally) getting the hang of things, but 3rd April 2014 had to come along and the pattern repeated itself. AGAIN. Such that I am convinced the third day of every month is guaranteed to be a bluesy day. A depressing one. Things will happen that will make you pissed off at yourself (I mean, myself) and the entire world in general. You will lose your patience at the slightest thing, and also lose your appetite (which is really sad. I love food.) I hate being depressed. And I dislike crying, though I know I do it often enough that people can’t help but think otherwise. Come 3rd May, I’m more than sure a feeling of depression or deep unhappiness would overtake me. It’s unavoidable.

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Now that we know this is a guaranteed affliction, we need to be prepared. Such as by having some form of chocolate within easy reach, so that you can stuff your face when the blues hit you. Even if you lose your appetite, chocolate will still be welcome (If even chocolate doesn’t help, it’s too serious and professional help is likely needed.) Since I only just discovered this condition, I didn’t have anything at hand to ward off the blues on Thursday (the evil 3rd day of the month). Friday went by smoothly enough, but I still needed comfort, so today, I treated myself to a single serving chocolate lava cake. Which turned out beautifully melty. I’M SO HAPPY NOW.

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I added a toblerone triangle in the centre of the ramekin to up the melty factor – it worked!

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I was so glad it turned out beautifully. A failed attempt might have been too much for me to take. By the way, the recipe for this gorgeous creation is found in the inaugural post. By gorgeous, I mean the recipe/innovation is a thing of beauty. Not my work.

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Can I have more, please?

new beginnings

We moved to a new office on Friday! I was sad to leave the old place, because it had more space and privacy, but I was determined to take things positively, so I tried not to get too attached to my old room and looked forward to getting acquainted with my new one. It was also fantastic going home early (earlier than usual) on Thursday, because the server was down at around six thirty, so there was no point staying back to do work and I could leave after I was done packing. Moving has some perks!

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the old room

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I will miss such views from my window though! *insert sobs*

But! My new space is cozy and functional and I’m very grateful for it. I can’t wait to personalise it. Flowers are a must! I intend to decorate gradually, say over a week or two.

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Oh and I didn’t make any of the treats that I was dreaming of last weekend. Shame on me, I know. Well, I guess I prioritised family time and work last weekend. 48 hours was hardly sufficient for that.

view from one of the meeting rooms at the new place

view from one of the meeting rooms at the new place

This weekend was more about me-time. I watched a movie of one of my favourite actors (embarrassingly fangirl-ish), shopped (seriously need to cut down on spending, but it’s so hard!), and baked some chocolate cookies. They are my favourite cookies and because I’m kind and generous I’ll be bringing some to share with my colleagues tomorrow. HA.

I was very happy all week, for no particular reason, and while moodiness is trying to creep up on me since this morning, I have been trying to think positive thoughts, so that I can continue to be happy. Because being moody is no fun. No fun at all. It makes you look ugly, for one. Hopefully sharing the aforementioned cookies tomorrow will contribute to happiness, because kindness tends to have that effect.  I will share the recipe soon. Meanwhile, have a great week folks!

obsessions

How can it be 10th January already?! In fact the tenth day of the first month of January is coming to an end. OMG

Why is it that on Monday, time seems to go r-e-a-l-l-l-l-y slowly, but suddenly it’s Wednesday, your to-do list seems to be never ending, and 24 hours in a day is SO insufficient. I wanted to leave early today, given that it is a Friday, but before I knew it, it was suddenly 8.30 pm and I’m like whaaaattt how can it be 8.30 already!! And I r-e-a-l-l-l-y didn’t want to stay late on a Friday. So I packed up my stuff, including the file I need to work on from home, and left the office, with sympathies to my friend and a trainee who were still staying in the office. WHY is work so all-consuming!!!

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That’s a rhetorical question.

Despite all that all-consuming work though, I did spend time daydreaming about my favourite obsession, FOOD. This week, I was thinking about what I could make this weekend. I tend to have foresight when it comes to food / eating. Cookies and breakfast food turned out to be the focus of my brain this week:

1. Smitten Kitchen’s Espresso-Chocolate Shortbread Cookies

2. Orangette’s Chewy Cocoa Chocolate Chip Cookies (I fell in love with these the first time I made them but for some reason, didn’t make this a regular in my household.)

3. Joy the Baker’s Creamy Pumpkin Pie Bars (because I have canned pumpkin leftover from last weekend’s pumpkin cupcakes.)

4. Shutterbean’s Killer Granola and Pear Cranberry Walnut Bread (will it work with dried cranberries though?)

5. Deep Dark Flourless Chocolate Cookies (that I came across on Pinterest ages ago) 

I wonder if I will have time to bake this weekend though. Hmm, that would depend on priorities and sacrifices. But that’s too deep a topic, better dealt with another time. For now, let’s focus on the slightly frivolous stuff (since it’s Friday and my brain is exhausted). Essentially, I wanted to share a recent obsession of mine (that’s not food related) – headbands.

When used with headscarfs, they give a rather Arabian / Middle-Eastern look, which makes it a suitable style for special occasions and also whenever one feels like being dressy (but not on an everyday basis, because trying to look Arabian on a daily basis would be rather weird and annoying in Singapore, I think).

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The first time I tried this style, I liked it so much, I started buying headbands wherever I saw one that caught my eye. Yeah I tend to get obsessed, instead of simply liking something like normal people do.

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I wish I could wear such fancy headscarf styles to work, but of course, then I will lose all hope of anyone ever taking me seriously. Which will be detrimental to my career progression and we don’t want that. So I look forward to all the special occasions this year when I can show off these 😉

Perhaps I should create a special occasion for myself this weekend. Because next week is going to be insane, so I need to steal all the fun and rest I can this weekend. Because our office is moving, and I haven’t started packing! AND I have numerous deadlines, AND we’re moving to a smaller space, so I don’t even want to think about how I’m going to fit everything into my new room. At the same time however, I’m looking forward to decorating and personalising my new space. To start, it will be lovely if I could hang this on my wall! 😀

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(It will be a great source of daily motivation!)